#1 Winner: Sex on the Beach
When I was in high school, I went on vacation down to South Padre Island. One night, I took a walk with a cute blond down to the beach for a romantic late night stroll. As we walked, images of Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in From Here To Eternity flashed through my mind’s eye as I pictured them kissing passionately in the surf. Such are the things that romance, hormones and a sandy disposition can do. I myself was not looking to make my own playtime in the sand a PG one.
The best kind of mouth to mouth resuscitation
We began kissing when I picked her up and laid her down on the beach. Call it high school hormones, the power of the tide or my love for a good judo move, but things escalated quickly after that. All was going smoothly (and I say that with every pun intended) until she decided to put her hand down my pants and give me a pull in the right direction. What was supposed to be a paradise of pleasure, quickly turned to a punishment in pain.
If you think of what a grain of sand is, it’s really like an extremely fine piece of glass. Well hold that thought and follow me as I give you some basic math. 1+1=2, right? And 4+3=7, yes? Well hard cock+sand covered hand= this little piggy squealed all the way home. My illusions of hot beach sex where dashed on the little rocks of the Gulf coast, as the only moans to escape my lips were those of agony, not ecstacy.
“Abort mission!!! Abort!!!”
Needless to say, I swore to myself I would have sex with a jackal long before I tried anything sexual on the beach unless I had a towel that stretched a mile in every direction. You would have thought I would have stuck to my intention, convincing myself that some things on my bucket list were never meant to be attained. But sometimes… life comes along and gives you a second chance.
Let’s get that dick out of the box
I’ve always considered myself a California boy in a Colorado body. I love the majesty of the mountains, but being by the water has always held a powerful sway over me. One night while in Pensacola, I went out with one of the locals. After skipping around town and breathing in the wonderful sea air, she suggested that we make our way to the beach. A tropical storm was at Florida’s doorstep and it was probably the only opportunity I was going to get to see it on this trip.
As we talked about it, the discussion of having sex on the beach came up which naturally injected into my brain images of hacksaws, cows mulching cud, and kids being forced to sit through Church. All painful pictures that I had no desire to put myself through.
“We’ve been here for two hours and God just finished creating the heavens and the earth! If I don’t die of boredom before day 5, somebody shoot me.”
I’m not a masochist, at least not in that fashion, so instict would say “run Forrest, run!!!” Despite this, two things kept my interests peaked. One, the places we were staying at were full, so there wasn’t any privacy for us. Second, the power of the ocean was starting to call me again and for the first time in over ten years I thought to myself, maybe… just maybe this could work.
With that said, we decided to face the mighty sand monster and give sex on the beach the ol’ college try. First we stopped at a gas station and picked up some protection, or what you might call a beach towel. This thing was going to be the only thing standing between me and a million tiny pieces of glass all waiting to test my blood type.
When we got to the beach I was immediately struck by how beautiful it was. The sand looked practically white and the entire area was vacant of people as if the coming storm had scared them all off to their homes. With the wind licking my hair entwined with the crashing sounds of the water, I stood and drank in the beauty of it all. This was perfect.
Just imagine this at night under the stars
After a short walk, we laid our stuff down. It was time to face my demons and see if I had learned a thing or two after a decade’s worth of sexual promiscuity. I shot up a prayer to the gods, gave my penis a pending apology for undeserved torture and faced one of the more apprehensive fucks I’ve ever had.
Despite all my concerns I must say, there is something completely magical about having sex under the stars on a beach. Forget screwing in the Tree of Life in New Orleans, or in the porno theaters of New York City (no I have not done that), beach sex, if done properly, is a tremendous shot of life. Despite the risks of sand injury, we both looked at each other after we had finished and knew that it had been a very unique experience. And that is why it snagged the #1 spot in my Top 3 list of Pensacola. I have been to beaches all over the world and know that some beaches fair better than others. Something about this one at night was simply amazing.
Afterwards, as we lay there, breathing heavily, I all of a sudden was filled with a powerful energy. I pulled out, threw off my condom and went bounding down the coast line naked, shouting and laughing. I quickly turned and crashed into the surf. It was so amazing. A memory I will hold with a mischievous smile. If much of human nature can be assessed by pursuing pleasure and avoiding pain, than sometimes, if you stack up enough pleasure, it can push you past some horrible past memories.
A word of caution to all those reading this tale of obstacles overcome: if you decide to follow in my footsteps, be sure, I stress, be sure to bring a towel. Pretend you’re a five year old playing and the sand is lava. You can’t touch lava, so don’t touch the sand. Otherwise, I’ll get loads of angry emails telling me how Mr. Sandman, who was supposed to bring you a dream, brought you a nightmare and trip to the gynecologist for an emergency check up instead.
No extra motivational sayings needed
And there you have my top 3 favorite things to do in Pensacola, Fl. At least for now. Each new trip brings new experiences so when I visit again, who knows what new hot spots and experiences I’ll share with you. All I can say is, keep reading, keep enjoying, and keeping living life. It’s worth it.
For #3 see: http://wacsonwacsoff.tumblr.com/post/10055811764/sex-on-the-beach-and-my-top-3-spots-of-pensacola-fl
For #2 see: http://wacsonwacsoff.tumblr.com/post/10088555361/top-3-things-to-do-in-pensacola-fl-2